Life Of Allianimus

NAVIGATIONS ARE ABOVE

This Is My Life... Allianimus

Monday, April 25, 2005

I have had alot to think about recently.. mostly about me.. the things ive done.. the things i might live to regret... and im gonna to stop something that has bothered the many years of my life.. i used to love doing that.. but it has also cost me someone i love with everything... therefore if decided to stop it and not look back... and ive also come to realise the path to self destruction cannot be blamed on anyone but myself.. ive no idea why i love doing it so much... some friends think im insane.. but its what i love to do... to feel life in my own hands... to choose... anyway.. ive also relearned a valuable lesson... trust... ive taught myself to only trust a person once... and if this trust is betrayed.. it will recieve a 2nd chance... probably im mean.. but its a lesson... and this lesson is applied to me... someone once trusted me... and i betrayed her trust not once but twice... im thankful that im given a 2nd chance.. and im not surprised i might not be given a third.. but i hope that she would give me just one more chance.. ive learned my lesson.. and i might live to regret it... for it is something that can only happen once in a lifetime... something that i want to hold on... something i will cherish... and if this chance comes.. pls.. let me know... and i wanna thank some special friends that are with me recently... auntie for lending her ears.. fuann, vick, roy and surain for the late nights up.. making me really tired.. so i wont think of anything else.. thanks... im really tired now... badminton till 5am? only u guys can make it happen..

Allianimus speaks.2:23 PM

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

I am 1 hell of an angry man.. i have no idea whats gone into me this past few days... i thought i've got rid of my temper... obviously i thought wrong... maybe its just not what i am.. ive always been surpressing it.. maybe its time to let it out now... just for awhile.. maybe i'll feel better.. luckly enough im able to control myself from actually physcially hurting anyone.. unfortunately i wont be able to say im not hurting myself.. maybe im sick in the mind.. can anyone help me? i juz freaked out fuann vick and roy in the badminton game just now... i just cant keep my anger at bay... im not angry with anyone or anything... maybe im just angry with myself... so many maybe's no definite answer...

argh....!!!!!!

Allianimus speaks.2:47 PM

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Life... does it hold a value? can it bought? can it be sold? a fren's father committed suicide 4 days back.. from what my mum told me.. he was in some kind of financial trouble.. when i was at the funeral.. Venessa told me that Zhaoxian's dad treated her better then her own dad... so i would guess that he should be quite a nice person... but in this world... does it pay to be nice? i wouldnt know... for a moment.. i put myself in Zhaoxian's shoes.. and thought abt the future... hopefully things will go fine for him.. Zhaoxian is a very strong guy... the 2nd day into the funeral.. was his TP test... and he passed.. today is his bday.. i didnt contact him today.. because i didnt know if he was allowed to celebrate... hope he feels better... when i was there.. i saw Venessa, Zhaoxian, Glenn and some others sobbing.. and i felt that there was nothing i can do to console them... well anyway... enuff of that... Few days ago.. Stella informed me that her attachment to Germany is coming soon... =/ aiya.. enuff for today.. exam's coming...

"Think not disdainfully of death, but look on it with favor; for even death is one of the things that Nature wills."
-Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

Allianimus speaks.10:54 AM

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